Cabin Pressure

I need some conversation stoppers for my flight.

I thought of this when I ran into a copy of "Exploring the Da Vinci Code" at my girlfriend's office. One of her co-workers had brought it back from a conference. It occurred to me that it would be the perfect book to bring out in order to halt conversations with certain kinds of people on a plane. Then I realized that what I really need is a set of small books, each of which offends a different kind of seatmate: one for the Jesus freaks, one for the over-anxious grandmother, one for the hyper-Republican businessman, and so on. Then, when they start to spiral into their favorite topic, on which they can speak for all 8 hours of the flight, I just pull out the appropriate tome and kill the thread of conversation.

They should sell these things in kits.

The Business

In Iain Banks' The Business, a shadowy multinational company buys a small country, enabling them to have a seat at the UN and their own citizenship process.

Whenever tax time rolls around, working for an international organization, I start thinking along the same lines.

I wonder what country has the easiest citizenship requirements?

Pay now or later

The RIAA has launched a website, p2plawsuits.com, so that people can settle their piracy suits in a quick and convenient e-commerce transaction, complete with a discount over the chumps that actually thought that going to court could save them. The appropriate metaphor, in case you're wondering, would be a handy web system allowing muggers to schedule appointments with their victims, thus turning untidy violence and crime into a slick, commercial service.

Fantastic. The American dream of drive-through exploitation is finally upon us.