Maybe the logo should be Thom Yorke on a cross

If you want to see something ridiculous, check out the Pitchfork review of Jonny Greenwood Is The Controller. Most normal people will ask, "Who is Jonny Greenwood, and why should I care?" The review then takes up something like 7 or 8 paragraphs to explain that 1) Greenwood is the guitarist for Radiohead, and 2) Radiohead is the greatest band of all time, especially because they continually deny that they're the greatest band of all time.

"I am not the messiah!"
"Only the true messiah denies his divinity!"
"What? Well, what kind of chance does that give me? All right, then I am the messiah."
"He is! He is the messiah!"

See how modest they are? Good thing there are people like Pitchfork around, to make sure that we really know that Radiohead is the best thing since Jesus invented sliced bread.

Here's the best part: this isn't a Radiohead album. It's not a solo album by Greenwood. What this is, if you're not blinded by adoration for a certain shrill, cryptic band, is a collection of reggae songs from the label's back catalog. Someone in management cajoled Greenwood into making the selections, even though Radiohead has basically nothing at all in common with reggae music.

It will sell like hotcakes, no doubt, because hipsters will buy anything related to Thom Yorke's cross-eyed mutterings. I am in the wrong business.

So much for Sandwich Artists

Subway is running a set of ads on television now to make us feel good about how we all like different toppings on our otherwise impersonal subs. What's frustrating is that all the customers in this commercial are aggressively using the active voice: "I put mustard on mine." "I made mine the way I like it."

No, you didn't, you capitalist pig. You told the minimum wage-earner behind the counter what you wanted, and he did it for you. Don't act like it was some sort of grand achievement that you carved out for yourself.

I always thought Subway's "Sandwich Artists" schtick from a few years back was overcooked, with its implication that the employees were trained in some kind of complicated craftsmanship. No offense, but it's a sub, not Pieta. Now I guess we should have just been thankful that the employees were acknowledged to exist at all.

Country AND Western

A couple Sundays ago, Anderson Cooper interviewed some redneck country music singer about his music on 60 Minutes--I can't be bothered to look up his name. The singer mentioned that he really just wanted to sing about topics that spoke to the dignity of small-town America.

Then the interview moved on to the matter of the singer's biggest hit, which I believe was called "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy."

I could write a whole post about how small-town America has no dignity. Or I could just refer you back to that song title, and let that speak for me.